A DAY OF REFLECTION!!

Today was one of those reflection days! One of those days when you go back to a certain point in your life and say WOW! look how I've grown! In my case that would be on the inside and out! It's ok to LOL at that one!!

I was sitting here today thinking back to when Dwain and I were first married. I remember how rich we suddenly felt when we officially became a couple and had two incomes. We had so much fun. We went on two great vacations. Once to Disneyworld and the other to Hawaii. We had some really great times but soon we found ourselves seeking riches of another kind. We wanted a baby!

It seems like only yesterday that I found out that I was pregnant with Ryan. We had waited so long to have a baby and now it was finally going to happen. It was a long road and a huge faith builder for us waiting on the Lord to prepare us and bless us with a child. It took so long that we started to think that maybe God had something else in store for us. This was hard for us to accept. I remember the very moment when I knew I'd accept anything God had in store for me. Dwain and I were talking about having a baby once again and Dwain could sense my discouragement. I knew how badly he wanted to have a baby and I knew how great of a Dad he would be. You all know that Dwain doesn't talk alot but that day he said something to me that changed my life. He said, Lori, if the only family of our own we ever have consists of just you and me, I would be content with that! WOW! I mean, I knew this guy loved me but....WOW!!! That changed me. I knew that the love God gave us for eachother was enough and so did he. It really took the pressure off of me as we knew that it was my body that wasn't functioning properly. I look back on that time and realize that I think there was more to the story of us not getting pregnant right when we wanted it. I think that God was developing our love for eachother, deepening it and strengthening it for the future. About five months later I was pregnant. We embraced our pregnancy with such a strong faith. We felt that we had literally received a miracle. We had.

Ryan was due to arrive December 31st, 2001. I often talked to God during the day about the baby growing inside of me. I remember one day in particular, it was mid October. I was feeling somewhat emotional, sentimental, and goofy. What a crazy combination! I was soon to be finished my work and on maternity leave and I was anticipating Ryan's birth. I was reflecting on how deeply I felt God's hand in my pregnancy and thought how fitting it was to have a child born so close to the date we celebrate Christ's birth. As I talked to God, my thoughts went to ask him if he would give me our baby on Christmas Day! I told him how symbolic that would be to me. Although he knew he was already very real to me and I didn't need any validation that he was responsible for this entire miracle , I told him in my thoughts in a playful sort of way that that would be the ultimate if I had my baby on his own son's birthday. I giggled to myself and wondered if he shared my humour in the whole conversation I was having with him. The weeks passed and I forgot about that conversation until closer to the birth. I have never known anyone who would ask for their child to be born on Christmas Day!! But that was my heart's desire. I now know without a doubt that God really does have a sense of humour. December 24th in the early morning I went into labour. By 6pm I was at the hospital and the nurses figured that I would have the baby before midnight. I thought to myself, is this for real? I'm not due for another week and this is my first baby. This would mean we'd have a Christmas Eve baby and I thought, I guess that's close enough, I mean an hour or 2 before Christmas day is pretty unbelievable considering my prayer request. Well to make a long labour, I mean story short, Ryan was born at 4:29pm on Christmas Day! My prayer was answered. Not only that, he gave me a son! One thing I'll never understand though is why he put me through 34 hours of labour first! He could have just let him be born at 12:01am Christmas day!! I guess its his sense of humor kickin in again! Haaha Lord!! Real funny!!

In a few weeks Ryan will be 5. I wanted to share this story because it really shows how God is real in a very real way to us if we let him. He's not just there for us to pray to when we have a problem and we need him. He's there for us to talk to right in the middle of our greatest day ever! December 25, 2001 will forever go down in my books as the most profound spiritual experience of my life! I am sure I will have more, but for now, this one holds the record! Thank you God for the gift of my son! I Love you Ryan...4-ever!!

There is nothing we really need know

or try to understand

If we refuse to be discouraged

and trust God's guiding hand...

So take heart and meet each minute

with faith in God's great love,

Aware that every day of life

is controlled by God above...

And never dread tomorrow

or what the future brings,

Just pray for strength and courage

and trust God in all things...

And never grow discouraged

be patient and just wait

For God never comes too early

and He never comes too late!

by Helen Steiner Rice